Mourning, Moving on, and Making a New Start

Guest article by Lucille Rosettie | info@thebereaved.org | The Bereaved


When a spouse dies, there is a void that will never be filled. But that doesn’t mean you have to be empty forever. Sometimes, moving away from what you know is the best way to find the strength to carry on. But it is not a decision to be made in haste, and you will need to consider both the practical and emotional aspects of your choice.

Should I move?

This is truly a question that only you can answer. The decision to remain in your marital home or to move on with your life as a single is deeply personal and will depend on many factors. Before you even consider it, however, and if finances allow, stay put for at least a year to give yourself time to accept the reality of the loss, overcome the initial pain, and adjust to life in your current environment.

The time is right

If you decide that you are ready to move on, one of your first steps is to determine what you will do with your current property. If you plan to sell, take a quick look at the deed to ensure that you have Rights of Survivorship, which LegalZoom explains automatically transfer if both of your names are on the record. Once you have established the legal status of the property, contact a realtor in your area to give you an idea what your property is worth.

One of the most challenging aspects of moving is that you will be forced to go through your partner’s personal effects. Be prepared for this to be an emotional experience, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Grief & Sympathy offers more advice on how to sort your deceased loved one’s belongings. Throughout the process, try to keep in mind that you are moving so that you can move on, and that means that not everything can come with you.

Protecting your future (and that of your surviving family)

Now that you know you are going to move, it is time to decide if you will rent or buy. Be realistic about your finances. It is almost always more financially prudent to purchase, but if you have little or no money for a down payment or are unfamiliar with your preferred new hometown, it may be best to rent temporarily.

While you are planning for your future, don’t forget about those you will leave behind when you die, even though it may not be for many years to come. This is a great time to invest in funeral insurance of your own, especially if you’ve recently experienced the burden of having to scramble to pay for your spouse’s burial expenses. Final expense insurance will not only help cover your own costs, but can also give your adult children or grandchildren extra funds to pay down any debt you leave behind.

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay.